Journal Posts

Tag: half_orc

On our way to Osturan, Take 2
Well, a lot of crap happened in the last six months. Right after my last journal entry, we ran into a whole heap of trouble - mainly, it was us getting raped by a basilisk. I don't really remember much besides walking along in the forest like usual, seeing something scaly, and then blacking out. The next thing I knew, I woke up with Aliaga standing in front of me, with the rest of our party being stone statues (The basilisk had stoned me first, apparently). Oh yeah, and Dimble was dead. Poor guy, and I was just getting to think he wasn't so bad. I have no idea what the hell happened to Paul either. I'm starting to wonder if this basilisk was some setup by Verine...

So, Aliaga had apparently spent a ton of our money on those spells to un-stonify us. I think it would have been a whole lot better if she had sold us as a collection of art to some rich dumbass and used THAT money to turn us back to normal. But, without her I would still be a piece of rock, so I can't complain.

After that escapade, Aliaga took Petra away and left us. (Which kind of sucks - Petra was a good meatshield, and now Verine doesn't have anyone to talk to but us guys... and everyone knows how women like to talk.) For some reason, Aliaga thought it'd be too dangerous to stick around with us. Pansy.

Oh, some good news is that we found Lidan back in town where we left him. He was still at that bar drinking away whatever money he had. I'm still shocked at the fact that we have an alcoholic paladin with us, but I guess he has to stay drunk to ignore the fact that he hangs out with a bunch of greedy bastards like us :P

Some time in the last 6 months (I don't really remember when) this guy who calls himself 'Lunari' started hanging out with us. Said something about being NoWhorey's nephew. I heard that he lit Doub on fire once when they were out together, so it looks like he might have caught the douchebag gene too... I guess we'll just have to hope he can overcome it.

A few days ago, Verine got a letter in the mail from her parents. They were asking for her help in protecting their hometown from a monster that was raiding it periodically. Her parents also invited all of us to come along, which was thoughtful of them. We headed out to Osturan pretty quickly after that, starting out our journey by offering to protect a traveling merchant who was going the same direction. (In reality, we were just going to use him as bait while we ran away from whatever attacked us, but fortunately it never came to that.)

We happened upon a village yesterday which claimed to have a 'Skulk' problem. I have no idea what the hell those are, but Doub was excited by the prospect of money (he WOULD kill anything for money). We headed into the inn for the night, and when everyone else went up to their rooms, I walked outside with Lidan. There, we were approached by a bard who calls himself 'Ken'. Crazy bards and their crazy names. Anyway, he said he wanted to protect the village from the skulk and thought that we were going hunting for it. I didn't think we had any plans to, but after he told me that he was good at distracting enemies (I love a good piece of bait) I said I'd talk to my party about it.

This morning, I gathered everyone up and we met Ken in the common room. He said he knew where the skulk lived, so we started to follow him north along a river. En route, we were attacked by three giant wasps, which almost literally scared the shit out of me. And I'm not ashamed to admit it, either. When you're a three-foot tall gnome and you see a wasp with a two-foot long stinger, you'd have to have brain damage to NOT immediately go hide behind somebody else. But, then I saw Ken get impaled by a stinger like a good distraction, and I used the opportunity to kill the attacking wasp. Lidan sliced up the other two (or maybe Verine shot one, I can't remember). Ken managed to stay alive, and Doub healed him up good as new. I think the fight went rather well!

So we continued on, and found ourselves in this cave. It looked like another orc or goblin den, with crappy furniture and crappy weapons all over the place. We thought it was the skulk's lair, so we cautiously looked around. Well, most of us cautiously looked around. Doub saw a treasure chest, called dibs, and ran up to it before thinking anything. He immediately got ambushed by two mountain lions and a half orc for his trouble.

Verine, being the witty one she is, saw the half-orc and yelled "SORRY YOUR MOM GOT RAPED". While our party started to think we were rubbing off on Verine too much, the half-orc didn't seem to care. I guess this wasn't new information for him? Lunari was the first to help out Doub, which was nice. Except that by helping he summoned a swarm of rats around Doub that started biting and clawing him, which wasn't nice. I ran up and stabbed the orc in the back before he even noticed I was there, but I was NOT going to jump into a pile of seething rodents to fight mountain lions off a twelve year old boy. That's just crazy. I tried to help by throwing my darts, but they didn't really do much... Verine and Lidan shot a few arrows into the mix, and Lunari watched his rats devour both mountain lion and boy. After the rats finally disappeared, both the mountain lions were dead and Doub had multiple lacerations, a disfigured face, rabies, and probably the plague too. Man, it's a good thing he has healing magic - there wasn't a scratch on him after a little of his praying to Thor. That little kid surprises me every day with how tough he is.

Per usual, we looted the corpse and searched for more treasure. The chest was locked, but I managed to get it open with my super thieving skills. Well, semi super thieving skills - there was a trap on the chest that released some caustic gas into the air. I only caught a whiff, but Lunari seemed to catch a whole lungful (I think he was coming up to push me out of the way - whether to steal the treasure or save me, I don't know... Well, actually, I'm pretty sure anyone can figure that out. Bastard.) In the chest there was some cool stuff, which we split up between us (except for Ken. I want to try and get him something sometime though, for being such a good distraction) There were some beds nearby, and we decided to stop for a rest. In the middle of Doub's watch, I woke up to him screaming and running into Lidan's room like, well, a twelve year old boy. Apparently, that half orc had 3 more brothers and a very-rape mom who lived here too. They were a little bit pissed that we killed their brother. But, Doub managed to cast a hold person spell on them, and we took the opportunity to tie them all up. They started bitching at us about some crap or their dead brother or how terrible we are or something, and they haven't shut up yet. We already told them that their douchebag brother siced his mountain lions on Doub without any warning, but they still are yelling and screaming on and on and on. I got so pissed a few minutes ago that I ripped up their dead brother's underwear and tried to stuff it down the very-raped mom's throat, but Lidan wouldn't let me :( He's such a goody-goody sometimes. But it's getting late, and I'm pissed because those bastards won't shut up and let us sleep...GRrrraaaaHHHHAArrrrrIHATETHEMTHEY'RESOANNOYING. If only Lidan would let us kill them!
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