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Into more trouble
Well, we woke up this morning after having a terrible night's sleep with those stupid rape-child half orcs. They were still under Lidan's protection though, and he wouldn't let us do anything. So, to subvert his authority, I took Lunari out to talk for a little while. I told him that I was going to convince everyone to go back to town while he should hide in the cave and get revenge on those orcs. I immediately followed through with my part of the plan, and managed to talk everyone into leaving the cave without a hitch. Lunari caught up to us a little later without incident (later he told me that he had summoned a swarm of insects to murder the tied up half-orcs).

So, when we made it back to town, Lidan immediately went to the bar to crawl back into his bottle. I honestly didn't have anything better to do either, so I decided to follow him. Doub ran off to the temple to pray to Thor again (small wonder he's not a saint by now), and Lunari decided to follow me and Lidan. I'm not sure where Kynn went off to... I kinda didn't pay attention to him that much since his primary purposes were "meatshield" and "distraction". I figured we'd just pick him back up the next time we decided to go out and fight something. Verine actually decided to leave town without us... I was a little sad, as I'd actually grown fond of her constant friendly fire and explosive personality. But, we were heading off to save her parents "too slowly", and she wanted to get there as fast as she could.

At the bar,we proceeded to order cheap drinks and ogle the local townswomen, as is custom. At least, I was ogling townswomen - it would probably be "unseemly" or something if Lidan were to try it, being a paladin and all. Not that he was missing out on much at the time, let me tell you... we WERE in the middle of the countryside in a tiny little town. But, just when I had decided that I couldn't stare at another farmer's daughter with a lopsided bosom, two straight teeth and half a face full of pimples and dirt, a strange, beastly woman came into the tavern. I still can't honestly tell you how attractive she is, as her size scares me more than my gnome parts feel is reasonable (I am NOT a fan of death by snu snu). She has to be at least 9 feet tall, and she probably participates in the sport of "see how far you can throw a horse". And, for reasons I doubt I'll ever know, she walked over to our table and started talking with us.

She said her name was Barbaria, and she was looking for adventure. She approached us to see if we knew about anything interesting to do around this village. Lidan, Lunari and I exchanged a few bewildered glances, and silently came to the same conclusion - we could use another meat shield. The strongest people we have with us right now are a drunk and a 12-year-old boy, so having Amazan woman here would greatly increase our likelihoood of surviving any other fights we might come across. So, I spoke up and told her about how we were part of a group of adventurers and that we were currently looking into the fabled "Sentinel" that was rumored to be around this town (which is something I half remembered reading from a book the other day, when we raided an old hermit's cottage. He was probably a bad guy anyway, so we didn't feel bad about it at the time.) I went on about how it was some mythical treasure that would bring fortune to us all when Doub ran into the bar. Apparently, he can still hear the word treasure a mile away, even when he's praying to Thor. Reaaaaally devout, that one.

With everybody there, we decided to search for the Sentinel the next morning. But first, we needed a place to stay. Any normal person would have suggested we stay at the inn, but not Doub. Doub is a cheap bastard, and we had a "friend" in town. So, we headed over to Kynn's house to have a "sleepover". Kynn was not happy. He lives in a tiny house, and it's doubtful that we could all even fit in there if we sprawled out on the floor. He closed the door in our faces when we asked, and he locked the door behind him. We tried knocking a few more times, but there was no answer. Doub shouted "Oh no! Kynn must be hurt! He's not answering his door, we need to go in and help him!" Nobody really believed him, but none of us cared enough to try and stop him. Lidan just said "well, it's not like he's answering to say he's okay, and sat down in the street to watch. I decided to put my lockpicking skills to semi-heroic use, and opened up the door (after which I went and sat down with Lidan to watch). Doub, Lunari, and Barbaria all burst into Kynn's house. I heard some yelling going on from inside, and harsh words were exchanged, but then Lidan decided to go inside and grab everyone and drag them outside since "Kynn looked like he was okay".

After this escapade, we went and actually rented rooms at the inn (Doub was hurt by the fact that we had to spend money). I went to scope out the closets like usual, since I'm small enough for a closet to be comfortable, and we save on spending for a room that way. One of the rooms had a spacious, luxurious closet that was the best thing I'd seen since the last not-a-farmer's-daughter two towns back. But, Barbaria burst into the room and bodily chucked me out, claiming the room (and the closet) for herself. Apparently even giant 9-foot-tall women can find way too many clothes to bring anywhere. I scoped out the other closets too, but none of them matched the size of that first one. So, after dark, I picked the lock on her room and snuck into that wide, comfortable space.

Some time later, I awoke to the closet opening, Barbaria lifting me up in one hand, and being bodily thrown outside of the room. Needless to say, I was not happy. It's not like I was even doing anything to her in her sleep - I just wanted the damn closet! Crazy giant woman.

I tried to sneak into Lidan and Doub's room, but the damn door had a good lock on it. So, that left me with.... Lunari's room. Bleh...but I guess the gay fat half-elf you know is better than the gay fat half elf you don't who is probably waiting down in the common room for unsuspecting gnomes to fall asleep... *shudder*. I snuck into his room and decided to fall asleep under his bed (where he hopefully couldn't reach and find me).

I awoke the next morning to an unbelievable stench and some half-demented sounding mutterings. Lunari, memorizing his spells and practicing his farts for when he ran out of magic. I crawled out from under the bed, told him he smelled like crap, and started to leave the room. But then I noticed him start chanting and making weird movements with his hands. I was a little confused, so I walked up to him and asked what he was doing. About a second later, I found out.

Out of nowhere, a giant swarm of bats appeared and started clawing and biting at the both of us. It seemed like they stayed there forever! I stood there defending myself until the swarm dissipated. Once it did, I was pretty pissed. So I shanked Lunari. Just a quick stab to the gut - nothing too deadly. I turned around to leave and saw Lidan and Doub staring at me with shocked expressions on their faces. It's not like they would have done anything differently in my position.

But, as I was leaving the room, I was engulfed in flame from behind. It was such a scorching blaze that even my clothes began burning off. Lunari. I turned around and threw what darts I had at him in anger. Lidan and Doub then stepped in to break us up. I'm pretty sure I gave more than I got to that crazy half-elf. Barbaria showed up eventually, and started to berate us for fighting amongst ourselves, and even had the gall to blame ME for having my clothes burned off.

At this point in time, the room was trashed and the inn was on fire, so we decided to high tail it out of town. First, I made sure to stop and buy some pants though. They were this ugly yellow color, but that's all that I could find in this backwater town. On our way out of town, we noticed that Lunari was missing.

I don't know what he had planned, but a few miles down the road we saw a crazed old hermit, that we all immediately recognized as Lunari casting a disguise on himself. His plan thwarted, he joined our group again without incident.

After further travel, we arrived in the town of Moonwell. It's a nice elven city, and is the most culturally advanced place we've seen since we left the keep. It was near nightfall when we arrived, so we decided to look for an inn. As is typical, Doub wouldn't spring for a nice place, so we ended up renting two rooms in a brothel. Barbaria claimed her own room and barricaded the door, leaving 4 of us for the other room. I wasn't going to stand to sleep in the middle of a sweaty sausage fest, so I crept out into the hall to find another room to enter.

The first room I came across had... sounds... coming from inside. I decided to skip this room, and headed to the next. I successfully picked the lock on this door, and headed into the bed to fall asleep. After a few hours of rest, though, I was rudely awoken by a cheaper-than-average hooker and her old and scarred tenant. Yeah... when they woke me up, "tenant" was the right word. It was pretty horrifying.

I left the room as fast as I could, and decided to look for a different inn. I found one nearby where the innkeeper said I could sleep in the common room for just a measly silver piece. I paid him, but it was almost all the cash I had on hand, since Doub doesn't trust us with anything. Since I was nearly broke, I decided to lighten the pockets of one of the other common room residents to make up for what I spent. Unfortunately, he caught me in the act. I tried to play it off cool, but he dragged me up to the innkeeper anyway. That racist bigot didn't even try and listen to my story about how I just tripped over the guy and things got mixed up - of course the human innkeeper would trust the fat human over the gnome. Instead of being able to sleep, I was thrown out into the street again. As I'm writing this, I'm lying on a bench in the street, hoping my throat is still not cut when I wake up. Man.... this has been a rotten couple of days.
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On our way to Osturan, Take 2
Well, a lot of crap happened in the last six months. Right after my last journal entry, we ran into a whole heap of trouble - mainly, it was us getting raped by a basilisk. I don't really remember much besides walking along in the forest like usual, seeing something scaly, and then blacking out. The next thing I knew, I woke up with Aliaga standing in front of me, with the rest of our party being stone statues (The basilisk had stoned me first, apparently). Oh yeah, and Dimble was dead. Poor guy, and I was just getting to think he wasn't so bad. I have no idea what the hell happened to Paul either. I'm starting to wonder if this basilisk was some setup by Verine...

So, Aliaga had apparently spent a ton of our money on those spells to un-stonify us. I think it would have been a whole lot better if she had sold us as a collection of art to some rich dumbass and used THAT money to turn us back to normal. But, without her I would still be a piece of rock, so I can't complain.

After that escapade, Aliaga took Petra away and left us. (Which kind of sucks - Petra was a good meatshield, and now Verine doesn't have anyone to talk to but us guys... and everyone knows how women like to talk.) For some reason, Aliaga thought it'd be too dangerous to stick around with us. Pansy.

Oh, some good news is that we found Lidan back in town where we left him. He was still at that bar drinking away whatever money he had. I'm still shocked at the fact that we have an alcoholic paladin with us, but I guess he has to stay drunk to ignore the fact that he hangs out with a bunch of greedy bastards like us :P

Some time in the last 6 months (I don't really remember when) this guy who calls himself 'Lunari' started hanging out with us. Said something about being NoWhorey's nephew. I heard that he lit Doub on fire once when they were out together, so it looks like he might have caught the douchebag gene too... I guess we'll just have to hope he can overcome it.

A few days ago, Verine got a letter in the mail from her parents. They were asking for her help in protecting their hometown from a monster that was raiding it periodically. Her parents also invited all of us to come along, which was thoughtful of them. We headed out to Osturan pretty quickly after that, starting out our journey by offering to protect a traveling merchant who was going the same direction. (In reality, we were just going to use him as bait while we ran away from whatever attacked us, but fortunately it never came to that.)

We happened upon a village yesterday which claimed to have a 'Skulk' problem. I have no idea what the hell those are, but Doub was excited by the prospect of money (he WOULD kill anything for money). We headed into the inn for the night, and when everyone else went up to their rooms, I walked outside with Lidan. There, we were approached by a bard who calls himself 'Ken'. Crazy bards and their crazy names. Anyway, he said he wanted to protect the village from the skulk and thought that we were going hunting for it. I didn't think we had any plans to, but after he told me that he was good at distracting enemies (I love a good piece of bait) I said I'd talk to my party about it.

This morning, I gathered everyone up and we met Ken in the common room. He said he knew where the skulk lived, so we started to follow him north along a river. En route, we were attacked by three giant wasps, which almost literally scared the shit out of me. And I'm not ashamed to admit it, either. When you're a three-foot tall gnome and you see a wasp with a two-foot long stinger, you'd have to have brain damage to NOT immediately go hide behind somebody else. But, then I saw Ken get impaled by a stinger like a good distraction, and I used the opportunity to kill the attacking wasp. Lidan sliced up the other two (or maybe Verine shot one, I can't remember). Ken managed to stay alive, and Doub healed him up good as new. I think the fight went rather well!

So we continued on, and found ourselves in this cave. It looked like another orc or goblin den, with crappy furniture and crappy weapons all over the place. We thought it was the skulk's lair, so we cautiously looked around. Well, most of us cautiously looked around. Doub saw a treasure chest, called dibs, and ran up to it before thinking anything. He immediately got ambushed by two mountain lions and a half orc for his trouble.

Verine, being the witty one she is, saw the half-orc and yelled "SORRY YOUR MOM GOT RAPED". While our party started to think we were rubbing off on Verine too much, the half-orc didn't seem to care. I guess this wasn't new information for him? Lunari was the first to help out Doub, which was nice. Except that by helping he summoned a swarm of rats around Doub that started biting and clawing him, which wasn't nice. I ran up and stabbed the orc in the back before he even noticed I was there, but I was NOT going to jump into a pile of seething rodents to fight mountain lions off a twelve year old boy. That's just crazy. I tried to help by throwing my darts, but they didn't really do much... Verine and Lidan shot a few arrows into the mix, and Lunari watched his rats devour both mountain lion and boy. After the rats finally disappeared, both the mountain lions were dead and Doub had multiple lacerations, a disfigured face, rabies, and probably the plague too. Man, it's a good thing he has healing magic - there wasn't a scratch on him after a little of his praying to Thor. That little kid surprises me every day with how tough he is.

Per usual, we looted the corpse and searched for more treasure. The chest was locked, but I managed to get it open with my super thieving skills. Well, semi super thieving skills - there was a trap on the chest that released some caustic gas into the air. I only caught a whiff, but Lunari seemed to catch a whole lungful (I think he was coming up to push me out of the way - whether to steal the treasure or save me, I don't know... Well, actually, I'm pretty sure anyone can figure that out. Bastard.) In the chest there was some cool stuff, which we split up between us (except for Ken. I want to try and get him something sometime though, for being such a good distraction) There were some beds nearby, and we decided to stop for a rest. In the middle of Doub's watch, I woke up to him screaming and running into Lidan's room like, well, a twelve year old boy. Apparently, that half orc had 3 more brothers and a very-rape mom who lived here too. They were a little bit pissed that we killed their brother. But, Doub managed to cast a hold person spell on them, and we took the opportunity to tie them all up. They started bitching at us about some crap or their dead brother or how terrible we are or something, and they haven't shut up yet. We already told them that their douchebag brother siced his mountain lions on Doub without any warning, but they still are yelling and screaming on and on and on. I got so pissed a few minutes ago that I ripped up their dead brother's underwear and tried to stuff it down the very-raped mom's throat, but Lidan wouldn't let me :( He's such a goody-goody sometimes. But it's getting late, and I'm pissed because those bastards won't shut up and let us sleep...GRrrraaaaHHHHAArrrrrIHATETHEMTHEY'RESOANNOYING. If only Lidan would let us kill them!
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The game currently
So I have most of this half of the world completely fleshed out for us to use now. We can resume play as soon as everyone is able (I have mostly been the one who was busy).

I have had a few questions about maybe making new characters and starting a new campaign. I am fine either way. We can continue with the characters we have, or we can start new. If we restart I will not be starting at level one however, we will make characters at around the levels we are currently 3-4 and I will be using a bit of different rules, my own homebrewed mix of 1st and 2nd edition that I've been working on. If everyone can tell me what they want to do we can move along with it and start asap. I miss playing with you guys! it has been a blast for me so far.
d20 => [11] = 11
Dice Rolls => Results = Total
d20 => [11] = 11
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On our way to Osturan
(NOTE: We aren't taking Lidan on this journey. Before we left, he went out drinking at a bar like usual, and never came home. Poor guy's probably puking his guts out in some alleyway by now... which makes me wonder, where is he going to get his booze money now that we've left? The only two things he could possibly do are to either whore himself out or be a training dummy for soldiers to beat the crap out of. Maybe we'll see him again some day, maybe not...)

A few days ago, we left the Keep in order to journey to Verine's home country. We are going so that Paul, her unwanted and persistent stalker/fiance, can ask Verine's father for her hand in marriage.

And it's been great so far! I'm loving all of the chaos that's been going on. I've known that Verine's motive from the start has been to get Paul killed on this journey, and it's so entertaining to keep giving her ideas on how to get the poor bastard killed ^_^. If only the other party members weren't such stuck up pricks I'd try to get them to play along. I'm almost starting to miss Novori now... I know I really really hated the guy, and I didn't give a rat's ass when he died, but at least when he we weren't trying to kill each other we played some pretty good pranks together. Everyone else (barring Doub) is just a goody-two-shoes.

For example, yesterday, we were leisurely strolling along when about 10 orcs came out and attacked us. We killed them without much hassle (Paul IS a badass, which is why it's extra fun to try and come up with death traps for him). Afterwards, I decided to follow the trail that they came from. I ended up at their camp, where there were probably 20 more orcs patrolling around. I thought it would be an easy fight, and I even came up with a plan of attack before heading back to the others. But those pansies didn't want to go :( I got Verine on my side (when I suggested that at least Paul and Dumble go so that Dumble could make another dragon illusion and possibly 'accidentally' kill Paul with it), but it was still 2 vs. everyone else. If Novori were there, I know for a fact that I could've convinced that guy to run into the camp butt-naked and be a distraction while we killed off the orcs and stole their tents (since we didn't BUY any to pack with the horses before we left town). But I digress.

Doub was quite entertaining though. I don't remember exactly how this fight started, but Verine tried to pick up Doub and throw him into the orc camp to be eaten alive. She didn't manage to throw him very far, and he came back swinging. Paul stepped in to protect "his woman", as he put it, and drew his sword on Doub. Doub, being the maniacal twelve year old that he is, cast hold person on Paul, and froze him in place. He then proceeded to beat him unconscious with his hammer while the rest of the party looked on in awe. After permanently altering the shape of Paul's head, Doub let him limply fall to the ground before healing his injuries, as added humiliation. I'm definitely not going to piss that kid off any time soon.

That night, we were out camping (WITHOUT any tents (>_<)O ) when some orcs stumbled near our tent. I heard something walking in the woods, though I didn't know they were orcs, and woke up Dumble to let him know what was going on before sneaking off to find out what was near us. By the time I got close enough to realize they were orcs, they had noticed something was near them. I froze and tried to hide, but there was nowhere to go, and the orcs started walking towards me. I panicked, and sprinted back to camp with the orcs following a little ways behind. When I got into camp breathless, I told Dumble to put up an illusion to hide our camp from the orcs. He did some fancy mumbo jumbo, and the orcs came looking for what made that noise, and somehow didn't find us! So, Dumble may be a tool, but at least he's a good tool to have around. GNOME POWER, BITCHES!

Today we didn't really do much (Dumble and I took a nap on one of the horses for most of the afternoon - my back's killing me now) though we did come across our first fork in the road! We went left, like any good adventurer does, and are again continuing on our way. This trip has had a good start (our healer beat up our fighter - who saw THAT coming?), and I have hopes that it will get even better!
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Paul's Unconscious?
The party started gathering supplies for their trip to Osturan. They bought 2 horses to carry their chest of loot with them and walked on foot. Within the first day of leaving they were surprise attacked by 10 orcs. Petra Darkeyes and Verine took their bows and returned fire on the orcs shooting at them while Doub and Paul charged in. Aliaga Darkeyes followed behind and managed to put half of the orcs to sleep while Burdock took the rear. Paul and Doub quickly destroyed most of the orcs with help from everyone.

Afterwards Burdock found the orc camp and Verine tried to throw Doub into it. In response Doub tried to attack Verine with Paul standing to protect her. With help from a hold person spell Doub managed to take Paul down. The party quickly healed him and decided to camp for the night. While camping the party heard the orcs walk by their camp, but Dumble was quick enough to cast an illusion of just normal forestry to protect them.

The rest of the night was fine however and the party continue to head down the trail. Eventually they made it to a fork in the road where Verine told them the 3 options were to continue straight through the Lost Woods, go west into Lylia and go through the town of Moonwell, or to continue through Osten and to go through Khal. The party decided to treck through Lylia on their way since it was safe, and faster than continuing through Osten.

What adventures does the party face on the way to Moonwell?
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This week
So this week, let us try and get something going again. If not I will run something small for people in Houston or who can play over skype, not using our normal characters, most probably using an early basic version of D&D (not that crap we used to play). Or we could go fun and play a Star Wars game!

If a good percentage of people can play, we'll continue with our current adventure. Let me know if you're available this week and when. I will default to Friday, but as it is summer, I can play almost any night (Saturday is my podcasted game, so it will have to be after that is done, and Thursday is my other podcasted game, so will probably be a bad night since it is a weeknight). Let me know when you want to play, or if Friday is best for you. Thanks!
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No game tonight
Due to the responses I received it will most definitely not be tonight. Is everyone fine with the normal Friday 8-12 time? thanks
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Woops!
I forgot to remind everyone about the game tonight, even though I also managed to spend a lot of time creating this adventure (damn waking up at 2 am XD). Anyway, I think we will resume at our normal Friday time next week, so May 27th? Let me know if that is okay! I've got lots of stuff planned for us :) and some fun deadly things >:)
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27 Hobgoblins and a Red Dragon!?
What a strange day for the party?

They woke up to Paul showing up and proposing to Verine, only for her to leave and go get drunk. Doub took Paul to the tavern for a drink and after paying for Paul left to pray to Thor as usual. Sometime after this the party left to return to the caves.

They soon landed in front of the caves as Verine was pissed and aching for an adventure, she ran straight in only to find a door shut. Soon the party caught up and found it had a note 'Come in -- We'd love to have you for dinner'. After inspecting Burdock found it was barred from the inside so the party knocked. After a few moments they heard the bar fall off and the door open to 5 hobgoblins who quickly invited them to dinner. They seemed nice enough.

Once at the table, the hobgoblins kindly asked them to wait while they finished up dinner. Slowly they brought the dinner in, and slowly, small groups of hobgoblins came to sit at the table. Beef and mead and wine! what a wonderful meal! Dumble even managed to have some nice conversation with them. After a short while, half of them got up to leave. The party tried to excuse themselves, but the leader insisted they left just to get the second serving.

The party insisted they were full and stood up. Almost immediately the hobgoblins blocked the door. Their intentions were obvious, they wanted the party for dinner, not to join them. Verine tried to sneak out by saying she needed to go to the bathroom. Sadly for her, 4 hobgoblins took her out and escorted her, and as soon as she tried to run they knocked her out. Dumble thinking quickly cast a phantasmal force and made it look like a young red dragon ran into the room! nearly all the hobgoblins fell for it, but so did half the party. Luckily it scared all the hobgoblins enough that they went crazy and started running around, so the party escaped.

On their way back to town the party found the 4 hobgoblins attacking Verine and managed to kill them easily with Aliaga Darkeye's sleep spell. Shortly after rescuing Verine however, they ran into 5 zombies, Doub managed to pull out his symbol of Thor and turned them away.

Once returning, the party tried to find Paul again to get the rings back. Somehow though, Verine managed to convince him that she would marry him if he got the permission from her father, who is in another far away land of Osturan. The rest of the party decided to join Paul in the journey there, and somehow even managed to convince Verine to come along, who was just trying to get him killed...

What will happen next?
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Game
Sorry we haven't played in a few weeks guys. I need to be better about contacting everyone early enough in the week. I am going to postpone until this upcoming friday (the 13th). I think everyone should be done with finals by then? maybe? let me know ASAP if you are still doing finals or not and we need to reschedule. Thanks!
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The Corporal is dead?
Doub and I went on a little adventure of our own for a while as we left the rest of the group behind in the cave. Somehow, just as we were leaving a portal of some sort came and sucked them up..........that's odd.

We returned to the keep and began a new conversation with the Corporal, who eventually asked us if we would aid him in a quest of his own. Upon accepting his request, Doub and I accompanied the Corporal along with two other dwarves along a seemingly deserted country road until something very strange and unexpected happened. The Corporal suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and murmured a faint phrase to the two dwarves who were following him: "Kill them." Doub and I had to quickly brace ourselves as the two dwarves were soon all up in our grills. Doub swiftly reacted and used his hold person spell on the three enemies, but not affecting the Corporal much to our dismay. The Corporal threw out a scary first blow on Doub and instantly put fright into our hearts. That was one crazy mother. I reacted by casting Phantasmal Force on the Corporal and created a rain of flaming arrows that fell upon him from the sky. As the battle between Doub and the Corporal ensued, at Doub's command I began to pick off the dwarves who were now held in place by his spell. After finishing off both of the dwarves, I turned to see Doub being struck down by the Corporal's mighty attack. I charged into the battlefield and began combat with the Corporal until eventually I came out with an extremely narrow victory. Once again, that was one scary mother. As his body fell to the ground, it began to take some strange foreign shape and I soon realized a truth that would strike my heart and reveal my stupidity: It was only a doppelgänger. After the long amount of time that Doub and I had plotted and schemed to end the Corporal's life, this event just had to happen. It took me an extremely long amount of time to drag Doub's 12-year old unconscious body back to the keep, and upon our arrival we rested and healed back up to our normal conditions.

We decided that this was not enough. Doub and I then chose to explore the countryside further, on our own this time, as we came across a rather peculiar site. We encountered a beautiful river with a rather large dam blocking it up. As we approached the dam in order to gain a closer look and possibly better insight, I noticed a small opening on the side that Doub had convinced me to crawl through and explore. After getting inside and taking a look around, I saw a small group of innocent looking beavers huddled up against the opposing wall in fright. Realizing the lightness of the situation, I began to call out to Doub and tell him of my findings. Naturally, he couldn't hear me through the thickness of the dam so I slowly crawled to the entrance to poke my head out and speak to him. Following our quick conversation, I begin crawling back into the dam to get another look at the frightened little beavers and as I return into the darkness I eventually come to a stop and catch sight of an enormous beaver that was easily twice my size glaring at me and snarling a couple of inches from my face. I freak out and run in complete fear for the exit of the dam as the giant beaver claws ferociously at me and knocks me out cold. I wake up to see an extremely bloody and mauled nearly-dead Doub at the keep tending to his beaver wounds as he provides me with a retelling of the events that occurred during my coma. Curse you Novori and your ability to piss off woodland creatures!!!
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This week
I assume everyone will be busy with easter stuff this week. I will be in Houston, and could probably still run the game if everyone, or almost everyone would be available. Just let me know if you will be or not so we can decide. Thanks.
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The Psycho-Analysis of Doub

As I grew more accustomed to being in this new party, I began to more fully distinguish and understand the subtle characteristics of the party members. One person of particular interest to me was Doub. An extremely fickle yet entertaining character, Doub has shown to be quite an interesting spectacle. I could see myself becoming good friends with this cleric.

While the majority of the party, especially Lidan, tends to hate the late Novori, Doub seems to contain within himself a hint of fondness for the ex-comrade. It may be the fact that he is twelve years old and still possibly in some remaining stages of innocence, but at the moment it seems that Doub may have a kinder soul than the rest of his party. However, I do question the fact that an adolescent child is the keeper of the party treasury.

Doub also tends to have some random idiosyncracies about him that spark my curiosity. It seems to me that he has an irrational hatred for Aliaga Darkeyes as well as this random priest I keep hearing about who lives back in town. Interestingly enough though he also seems to have an irrational homoerotic passion for some Kuther person, most likely stemming from some past event. I do admire his dedication, however, in his constant prayer life to Thor, although there appear to be no fruitful results for his efforts as of yet.

Doub also appears to be the prankster of the party, although he enjoys having a partner in crime, which I assume was the role of the late Novori. Novori must have been a great comrade and friend. These irrational attributes may stem from a traumatic childhood experience such as rape or mugging, or may be a direct effect of a serious mental disorder, the latter of which I am more inclined to believe. Nonetheless, I wish to get to know Doub better in the near future. There will never be a dull moment with Doub.

Upon examining him further, he proves to be much more devious than his looks portray, and his dry and semi-retarded sense of humor get him into many interesting circumstances. For instance, he is currently involved in a very long and convoluted personal mission to marry Verine to a member of the town guard, a venture that I might choose to join him in for some personal enjoyment of my own. I have also heard of many stories about him that are mildly concerning such as throwing a beaver down a chimney, dropping one of his teammates down that same chimney, and killing some random person while then proceeding to lie to the corporal in order to collect a monetary reward from him.

After observing Doub in many environments and situations, I have come to a more clear decision regarding how to characterize this unique and eclectic personality. I have currently defined him as a mentally unstable homoerotic adolescent who seeks violence and mayhem in an eternal greedy quest for money and retardation. This shows to be the beginnings of a unique, crazy and potentially harmful friendship.
Session: Game Session - Friday, Apr 15 2011 from 9:00 PM to 1:00 AM
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No Game This Week
Eric and I will be at the North American Saxophone Alliance Conference in Huntsville, so we will not be playing this week. Unless eric has no problem playing in our hotel and me skyping everyone in. Good game last night though, thank you everyone.
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Trolling
I awoke this morning to a knock on the door. Much to my surprise, it was my good pal, the traveling priest. He was looking for Aliaga and Petra to ask for their assistance in some matter. I informed him that the two women had a late night at the bar and wouldn’t be up for a while. He asked me if I would mind giving them a note for him, and I gladly agreed. He left rather promptly, reminding me that the note was urgent and it should only be read by the two girls. I laughed and waved him off. What a funny old man, acting like women can read and whatnot. I opened the note and discovered that the priest needed help dealing with a troll problem that the corporal had deemed non-important. He said he had heard of Aliaga and Petra’s skills in battle, and so he was requesting their help for a “generous reward.” Two things stuck out to me. First, he obviously had no clue that neither of these women were capable of dealing with such a daunting task. Second, there was no way I was going to let those greedy girls steal MY reward. As soon as I got done reading the note, Petra walked out of her room to ask who was at the door. I replied, “It was just those darn Thormons, but don’t worry, I told them we don’t need any of their sexist polygamy in this house.” About this time, the rest of the party was dragging themselves out of bed and getting ready for another day in town. I quietly prepared for my quest with the priest and slipped out the door.

When I arrived at the traveling priest’s house, he greeted me most poorly. He asked me where Aliaga and Petra were, so I told him they were both too hungover to get out of bed. I assured him that I would be just as useful as the two if not more. He asked about the other humans or the gnome that I lived with, but I regretfully informed him that they simply hated him. He looked at me with eyes of disbelief but said nothing. “I’m sure the two of us will be fine, but if you want some more help I know of someone perfect to ask!”
On our way out of town we met with the corporal to collect our weapons and request the services of one of his men. The corporal said he could spare one of his jailers today, as most of the prisoners had already died from the falling temperatures this time of year brings. He told one his men to go fetch Paul, but I spoke up and suggested we leave Paul alone as he was certainly busy planning his wedding. Instead, I asked if Kuther was free for the day. The corporal assured me that Kuther was much too busy at the moment, until I offered to pay. Suddenly Kuther had no work at all (greedy politician), and the corporal ordered his guard to find Kuther immediately. When the corporal asked for the promised money, I nudged the priest implying I had no intention to pay him out of pocket. The priest looked a little annoyed, but he paid the corporal nevertheless. When Kuther arrived, the three of us departed for the trolls’ home.

As we marched down the road, the priest explained exactly what we would be doing. Apparently, some trolls currently residing under a bridge were terrorizing passing travelers. A traveler himself, the priest wanted the road safe for anyone who might need to pass through the area. I joked that the only place the priest would be going anytime soon would be the underworld, but he didn’t see the humor in it, being the blind old man that he is. Kuther gave what sounded like a laugh, which then seemed to turn into a bad cough.

We arrived at the bridge to find the cave underneath troll-free. The place smelled horrid and was clearly the home of something vile and a little bit overweight. Everything was massive, from the chairs to the beds, even the weapons in the rack were oversized. I quickly got to work cutting a leg off of every chair, cutting some holes in their clothes, and searching their beds for money (they had made quite a living on highway robbery). I even found a rock and dulled the blades on the weapons they had left lying around. As Kuther and the priest were discussing where to search for the trolls, the ground began to shake violently. We caught our balance as we realized the residents of the cave had just returned. Quickly, we each found a hiding place and awaited the arrival of our oblivious hosts.

One by one, three large trolls marched in the room dragging a dead deer behind them. One threw the deer up on the table while the other two grabbed some makeshift plates and eating utensils. As one troll sat down, his chair gave way beneath him and he slammed to the ground. The other two roared with laughter as the first troll slowly got up with an angry expression upon his face. He pointed his finger at another troll and began yelling in a language I could not comprehend. The second troll seemed to just brush his words off with one hand as he too sat down to eat their catch. He too met the ground, and the sound of laughter filled the cave once more. This troll got up swinging and a fist brawl broke out between all three. Punches were flying and furniture was being thrown, but the three didn’t trolls didn’t calm down until two of them had been knocked out completely. The one remaining troll (the second troll to have fallen in his chair) returned to the table to devour his meal alone. He sat down in the remaining chair and quickly found the floor once more. This time, I couldn’t hold my laughter back, the idiot had been fooled twice by the same trick. Upon hearing the sound of a human, the troll instinctively grabbed a weapon from the rack and came toward me. I vacated my hiding place and stood waiting to take the troll down. Having close to double my range, the troll swung his blunt axe at me, knocking me back against the wall. Suddenly, Kuther lunged out of nowhere and planted his axe deep in the back of the troll’s leg, diverting the troll’s attention from myself to the little dwarf. I stood up and began to cast my hold spell on the troll. At this point I noticed that the priest had also entered the fight with a giant glowing spirit hammer that he was controlling with magic. Kuther and this ghost hammer were barely holding their own until I finished my hold spell. The troll froze up mid-attack and just stood there while my party drained him of his life. After we were done with this troll, we finished off the two that had been knocked out and left the cave which now wreaked of even more death.

We returned to the keep and I bid Kuther farewell, as I followed the traveling priest back to his house. We walked in and he told me to take a seat while he went to get my promised reward. It was beginning to get dark and a bit frosty, so I asked him if I could start his fireplace, but he suggested that I stay away from his chimney for some reason. He came back with a beaver skin hat and a small pouch of gold which he handed to me as he thanked me for my help. I returned home with my spoils and buried them right beside Novori. It was a small sacrifice, but I pity anyone, friend or foe, who isn’t buried in a grave of gold.
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