This is my home ADnD 1e game. It consists of a few PC and few reoccurring NPCs. The party is a misfit of characters with hardly any team-work. Somehow they manage to survive and avoid all the trouble they have made. Who knows how these characters will continue to survive, and how they will make it from their failures to mediocrity.

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Into more trouble
Well, we woke up this morning after having a terrible night's sleep with those stupid rape-child half orcs. They were still under Lidan's protection though, and he wouldn't let us do anything. So, to subvert his authority, I took Lunari out to talk for a little while. I told him that I was going to convince everyone to go back to town while he should hide in the cave and get revenge on those orcs. I immediately followed through with my part of the plan, and managed to talk everyone into leaving the cave without a hitch. Lunari caught up to us a little later without incident (later he told me that he had summoned a swarm of insects to murder the tied up half-orcs).

So, when we made it back to town, Lidan immediately went to the bar to crawl back into his bottle. I honestly didn't have anything better to do either, so I decided to follow him. Doub ran off to the temple to pray to Thor again (small wonder he's not a saint by now), and Lunari decided to follow me and Lidan. I'm not sure where Kynn went off to... I kinda didn't pay attention to him that much since his primary purposes were "meatshield" and "distraction". I figured we'd just pick him back up the next time we decided to go out and fight something. Verine actually decided to leave town without us... I was a little sad, as I'd actually grown fond of her constant friendly fire and explosive personality. But, we were heading off to save her parents "too slowly", and she wanted to get there as fast as she could.

At the bar,we proceeded to order cheap drinks and ogle the local townswomen, as is custom. At least, I was ogling townswomen - it would probably be "unseemly" or something if Lidan were to try it, being a paladin and all. Not that he was missing out on much at the time, let me tell you... we WERE in the middle of the countryside in a tiny little town. But, just when I had decided that I couldn't stare at another farmer's daughter with a lopsided bosom, two straight teeth and half a face full of pimples and dirt, a strange, beastly woman came into the tavern. I still can't honestly tell you how attractive she is, as her size scares me more than my gnome parts feel is reasonable (I am NOT a fan of death by snu snu). She has to be at least 9 feet tall, and she probably participates in the sport of "see how far you can throw a horse". And, for reasons I doubt I'll ever know, she walked over to our table and started talking with us.

She said her name was Barbaria, and she was looking for adventure. She approached us to see if we knew about anything interesting to do around this village. Lidan, Lunari and I exchanged a few bewildered glances, and silently came to the same conclusion - we could use another meat shield. The strongest people we have with us right now are a drunk and a 12-year-old boy, so having Amazan woman here would greatly increase our likelihoood of surviving any other fights we might come across. So, I spoke up and told her about how we were part of a group of adventurers and that we were currently looking into the fabled "Sentinel" that was rumored to be around this town (which is something I half remembered reading from a book the other day, when we raided an old hermit's cottage. He was probably a bad guy anyway, so we didn't feel bad about it at the time.) I went on about how it was some mythical treasure that would bring fortune to us all when Doub ran into the bar. Apparently, he can still hear the word treasure a mile away, even when he's praying to Thor. Reaaaaally devout, that one.

With everybody there, we decided to search for the Sentinel the next morning. But first, we needed a place to stay. Any normal person would have suggested we stay at the inn, but not Doub. Doub is a cheap bastard, and we had a "friend" in town. So, we headed over to Kynn's house to have a "sleepover". Kynn was not happy. He lives in a tiny house, and it's doubtful that we could all even fit in there if we sprawled out on the floor. He closed the door in our faces when we asked, and he locked the door behind him. We tried knocking a few more times, but there was no answer. Doub shouted "Oh no! Kynn must be hurt! He's not answering his door, we need to go in and help him!" Nobody really believed him, but none of us cared enough to try and stop him. Lidan just said "well, it's not like he's answering to say he's okay, and sat down in the street to watch. I decided to put my lockpicking skills to semi-heroic use, and opened up the door (after which I went and sat down with Lidan to watch). Doub, Lunari, and Barbaria all burst into Kynn's house. I heard some yelling going on from inside, and harsh words were exchanged, but then Lidan decided to go inside and grab everyone and drag them outside since "Kynn looked like he was okay".

After this escapade, we went and actually rented rooms at the inn (Doub was hurt by the fact that we had to spend money). I went to scope out the closets like usual, since I'm small enough for a closet to be comfortable, and we save on spending for a room that way. One of the rooms had a spacious, luxurious closet that was the best thing I'd seen since the last not-a-farmer's-daughter two towns back. But, Barbaria burst into the room and bodily chucked me out, claiming the room (and the closet) for herself. Apparently even giant 9-foot-tall women can find way too many clothes to bring anywhere. I scoped out the other closets too, but none of them matched the size of that first one. So, after dark, I picked the lock on her room and snuck into that wide, comfortable space.

Some time later, I awoke to the closet opening, Barbaria lifting me up in one hand, and being bodily thrown outside of the room. Needless to say, I was not happy. It's not like I was even doing anything to her in her sleep - I just wanted the damn closet! Crazy giant woman.

I tried to sneak into Lidan and Doub's room, but the damn door had a good lock on it. So, that left me with.... Lunari's room. Bleh...but I guess the gay fat half-elf you know is better than the gay fat half elf you don't who is probably waiting down in the common room for unsuspecting gnomes to fall asleep... *shudder*. I snuck into his room and decided to fall asleep under his bed (where he hopefully couldn't reach and find me).

I awoke the next morning to an unbelievable stench and some half-demented sounding mutterings. Lunari, memorizing his spells and practicing his farts for when he ran out of magic. I crawled out from under the bed, told him he smelled like crap, and started to leave the room. But then I noticed him start chanting and making weird movements with his hands. I was a little confused, so I walked up to him and asked what he was doing. About a second later, I found out.

Out of nowhere, a giant swarm of bats appeared and started clawing and biting at the both of us. It seemed like they stayed there forever! I stood there defending myself until the swarm dissipated. Once it did, I was pretty pissed. So I shanked Lunari. Just a quick stab to the gut - nothing too deadly. I turned around to leave and saw Lidan and Doub staring at me with shocked expressions on their faces. It's not like they would have done anything differently in my position.

But, as I was leaving the room, I was engulfed in flame from behind. It was such a scorching blaze that even my clothes began burning off. Lunari. I turned around and threw what darts I had at him in anger. Lidan and Doub then stepped in to break us up. I'm pretty sure I gave more than I got to that crazy half-elf. Barbaria showed up eventually, and started to berate us for fighting amongst ourselves, and even had the gall to blame ME for having my clothes burned off.

At this point in time, the room was trashed and the inn was on fire, so we decided to high tail it out of town. First, I made sure to stop and buy some pants though. They were this ugly yellow color, but that's all that I could find in this backwater town. On our way out of town, we noticed that Lunari was missing.

I don't know what he had planned, but a few miles down the road we saw a crazed old hermit, that we all immediately recognized as Lunari casting a disguise on himself. His plan thwarted, he joined our group again without incident.

After further travel, we arrived in the town of Moonwell. It's a nice elven city, and is the most culturally advanced place we've seen since we left the keep. It was near nightfall when we arrived, so we decided to look for an inn. As is typical, Doub wouldn't spring for a nice place, so we ended up renting two rooms in a brothel. Barbaria claimed her own room and barricaded the door, leaving 4 of us for the other room. I wasn't going to stand to sleep in the middle of a sweaty sausage fest, so I crept out into the hall to find another room to enter.

The first room I came across had... sounds... coming from inside. I decided to skip this room, and headed to the next. I successfully picked the lock on this door, and headed into the bed to fall asleep. After a few hours of rest, though, I was rudely awoken by a cheaper-than-average hooker and her old and scarred tenant. Yeah... when they woke me up, "tenant" was the right word. It was pretty horrifying.

I left the room as fast as I could, and decided to look for a different inn. I found one nearby where the innkeeper said I could sleep in the common room for just a measly silver piece. I paid him, but it was almost all the cash I had on hand, since Doub doesn't trust us with anything. Since I was nearly broke, I decided to lighten the pockets of one of the other common room residents to make up for what I spent. Unfortunately, he caught me in the act. I tried to play it off cool, but he dragged me up to the innkeeper anyway. That racist bigot didn't even try and listen to my story about how I just tripped over the guy and things got mixed up - of course the human innkeeper would trust the fat human over the gnome. Instead of being able to sleep, I was thrown out into the street again. As I'm writing this, I'm lying on a bench in the street, hoping my throat is still not cut when I wake up. Man.... this has been a rotten couple of days.
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On our way to Osturan, Take 2
Well, a lot of crap happened in the last six months. Right after my last journal entry, we ran into a whole heap of trouble - mainly, it was us getting raped by a basilisk. I don't really remember much besides walking along in the forest like usual, seeing something scaly, and then blacking out. The next thing I knew, I woke up with Aliaga standing in front of me, with the rest of our party being stone statues (The basilisk had stoned me first, apparently). Oh yeah, and Dimble was dead. Poor guy, and I was just getting to think he wasn't so bad. I have no idea what the hell happened to Paul either. I'm starting to wonder if this basilisk was some setup by Verine...

So, Aliaga had apparently spent a ton of our money on those spells to un-stonify us. I think it would have been a whole lot better if she had sold us as a collection of art to some rich dumbass and used THAT money to turn us back to normal. But, without her I would still be a piece of rock, so I can't complain.

After that escapade, Aliaga took Petra away and left us. (Which kind of sucks - Petra was a good meatshield, and now Verine doesn't have anyone to talk to but us guys... and everyone knows how women like to talk.) For some reason, Aliaga thought it'd be too dangerous to stick around with us. Pansy.

Oh, some good news is that we found Lidan back in town where we left him. He was still at that bar drinking away whatever money he had. I'm still shocked at the fact that we have an alcoholic paladin with us, but I guess he has to stay drunk to ignore the fact that he hangs out with a bunch of greedy bastards like us :P

Some time in the last 6 months (I don't really remember when) this guy who calls himself 'Lunari' started hanging out with us. Said something about being NoWhorey's nephew. I heard that he lit Doub on fire once when they were out together, so it looks like he might have caught the douchebag gene too... I guess we'll just have to hope he can overcome it.

A few days ago, Verine got a letter in the mail from her parents. They were asking for her help in protecting their hometown from a monster that was raiding it periodically. Her parents also invited all of us to come along, which was thoughtful of them. We headed out to Osturan pretty quickly after that, starting out our journey by offering to protect a traveling merchant who was going the same direction. (In reality, we were just going to use him as bait while we ran away from whatever attacked us, but fortunately it never came to that.)

We happened upon a village yesterday which claimed to have a 'Skulk' problem. I have no idea what the hell those are, but Doub was excited by the prospect of money (he WOULD kill anything for money). We headed into the inn for the night, and when everyone else went up to their rooms, I walked outside with Lidan. There, we were approached by a bard who calls himself 'Ken'. Crazy bards and their crazy names. Anyway, he said he wanted to protect the village from the skulk and thought that we were going hunting for it. I didn't think we had any plans to, but after he told me that he was good at distracting enemies (I love a good piece of bait) I said I'd talk to my party about it.

This morning, I gathered everyone up and we met Ken in the common room. He said he knew where the skulk lived, so we started to follow him north along a river. En route, we were attacked by three giant wasps, which almost literally scared the shit out of me. And I'm not ashamed to admit it, either. When you're a three-foot tall gnome and you see a wasp with a two-foot long stinger, you'd have to have brain damage to NOT immediately go hide behind somebody else. But, then I saw Ken get impaled by a stinger like a good distraction, and I used the opportunity to kill the attacking wasp. Lidan sliced up the other two (or maybe Verine shot one, I can't remember). Ken managed to stay alive, and Doub healed him up good as new. I think the fight went rather well!

So we continued on, and found ourselves in this cave. It looked like another orc or goblin den, with crappy furniture and crappy weapons all over the place. We thought it was the skulk's lair, so we cautiously looked around. Well, most of us cautiously looked around. Doub saw a treasure chest, called dibs, and ran up to it before thinking anything. He immediately got ambushed by two mountain lions and a half orc for his trouble.

Verine, being the witty one she is, saw the half-orc and yelled "SORRY YOUR MOM GOT RAPED". While our party started to think we were rubbing off on Verine too much, the half-orc didn't seem to care. I guess this wasn't new information for him? Lunari was the first to help out Doub, which was nice. Except that by helping he summoned a swarm of rats around Doub that started biting and clawing him, which wasn't nice. I ran up and stabbed the orc in the back before he even noticed I was there, but I was NOT going to jump into a pile of seething rodents to fight mountain lions off a twelve year old boy. That's just crazy. I tried to help by throwing my darts, but they didn't really do much... Verine and Lidan shot a few arrows into the mix, and Lunari watched his rats devour both mountain lion and boy. After the rats finally disappeared, both the mountain lions were dead and Doub had multiple lacerations, a disfigured face, rabies, and probably the plague too. Man, it's a good thing he has healing magic - there wasn't a scratch on him after a little of his praying to Thor. That little kid surprises me every day with how tough he is.

Per usual, we looted the corpse and searched for more treasure. The chest was locked, but I managed to get it open with my super thieving skills. Well, semi super thieving skills - there was a trap on the chest that released some caustic gas into the air. I only caught a whiff, but Lunari seemed to catch a whole lungful (I think he was coming up to push me out of the way - whether to steal the treasure or save me, I don't know... Well, actually, I'm pretty sure anyone can figure that out. Bastard.) In the chest there was some cool stuff, which we split up between us (except for Ken. I want to try and get him something sometime though, for being such a good distraction) There were some beds nearby, and we decided to stop for a rest. In the middle of Doub's watch, I woke up to him screaming and running into Lidan's room like, well, a twelve year old boy. Apparently, that half orc had 3 more brothers and a very-rape mom who lived here too. They were a little bit pissed that we killed their brother. But, Doub managed to cast a hold person spell on them, and we took the opportunity to tie them all up. They started bitching at us about some crap or their dead brother or how terrible we are or something, and they haven't shut up yet. We already told them that their douchebag brother siced his mountain lions on Doub without any warning, but they still are yelling and screaming on and on and on. I got so pissed a few minutes ago that I ripped up their dead brother's underwear and tried to stuff it down the very-raped mom's throat, but Lidan wouldn't let me :( He's such a goody-goody sometimes. But it's getting late, and I'm pissed because those bastards won't shut up and let us sleep...GRrrraaaaHHHHAArrrrrIHATETHEMTHEY'RESOANNOYING. If only Lidan would let us kill them!
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The game currently
So I have most of this half of the world completely fleshed out for us to use now. We can resume play as soon as everyone is able (I have mostly been the one who was busy).

I have had a few questions about maybe making new characters and starting a new campaign. I am fine either way. We can continue with the characters we have, or we can start new. If we restart I will not be starting at level one however, we will make characters at around the levels we are currently 3-4 and I will be using a bit of different rules, my own homebrewed mix of 1st and 2nd edition that I've been working on. If everyone can tell me what they want to do we can move along with it and start asap. I miss playing with you guys! it has been a blast for me so far.
d20 => [11] = 11
Dice Rolls => Results = Total
d20 => [11] = 11
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On our way to Osturan
(NOTE: We aren't taking Lidan on this journey. Before we left, he went out drinking at a bar like usual, and never came home. Poor guy's probably puking his guts out in some alleyway by now... which makes me wonder, where is he going to get his booze money now that we've left? The only two things he could possibly do are to either whore himself out or be a training dummy for soldiers to beat the crap out of. Maybe we'll see him again some day, maybe not...)

A few days ago, we left the Keep in order to journey to Verine's home country. We are going so that Paul, her unwanted and persistent stalker/fiance, can ask Verine's father for her hand in marriage.

And it's been great so far! I'm loving all of the chaos that's been going on. I've known that Verine's motive from the start has been to get Paul killed on this journey, and it's so entertaining to keep giving her ideas on how to get the poor bastard killed ^_^. If only the other party members weren't such stuck up pricks I'd try to get them to play along. I'm almost starting to miss Novori now... I know I really really hated the guy, and I didn't give a rat's ass when he died, but at least when he we weren't trying to kill each other we played some pretty good pranks together. Everyone else (barring Doub) is just a goody-two-shoes.

For example, yesterday, we were leisurely strolling along when about 10 orcs came out and attacked us. We killed them without much hassle (Paul IS a badass, which is why it's extra fun to try and come up with death traps for him). Afterwards, I decided to follow the trail that they came from. I ended up at their camp, where there were probably 20 more orcs patrolling around. I thought it would be an easy fight, and I even came up with a plan of attack before heading back to the others. But those pansies didn't want to go :( I got Verine on my side (when I suggested that at least Paul and Dumble go so that Dumble could make another dragon illusion and possibly 'accidentally' kill Paul with it), but it was still 2 vs. everyone else. If Novori were there, I know for a fact that I could've convinced that guy to run into the camp butt-naked and be a distraction while we killed off the orcs and stole their tents (since we didn't BUY any to pack with the horses before we left town). But I digress.

Doub was quite entertaining though. I don't remember exactly how this fight started, but Verine tried to pick up Doub and throw him into the orc camp to be eaten alive. She didn't manage to throw him very far, and he came back swinging. Paul stepped in to protect "his woman", as he put it, and drew his sword on Doub. Doub, being the maniacal twelve year old that he is, cast hold person on Paul, and froze him in place. He then proceeded to beat him unconscious with his hammer while the rest of the party looked on in awe. After permanently altering the shape of Paul's head, Doub let him limply fall to the ground before healing his injuries, as added humiliation. I'm definitely not going to piss that kid off any time soon.

That night, we were out camping (WITHOUT any tents (>_<)O ) when some orcs stumbled near our tent. I heard something walking in the woods, though I didn't know they were orcs, and woke up Dumble to let him know what was going on before sneaking off to find out what was near us. By the time I got close enough to realize they were orcs, they had noticed something was near them. I froze and tried to hide, but there was nowhere to go, and the orcs started walking towards me. I panicked, and sprinted back to camp with the orcs following a little ways behind. When I got into camp breathless, I told Dumble to put up an illusion to hide our camp from the orcs. He did some fancy mumbo jumbo, and the orcs came looking for what made that noise, and somehow didn't find us! So, Dumble may be a tool, but at least he's a good tool to have around. GNOME POWER, BITCHES!

Today we didn't really do much (Dumble and I took a nap on one of the horses for most of the afternoon - my back's killing me now) though we did come across our first fork in the road! We went left, like any good adventurer does, and are again continuing on our way. This trip has had a good start (our healer beat up our fighter - who saw THAT coming?), and I have hopes that it will get even better!
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Paul's Unconscious?
The party started gathering supplies for their trip to Osturan. They bought 2 horses to carry their chest of loot with them and walked on foot. Within the first day of leaving they were surprise attacked by 10 orcs. Petra Darkeyes and Verine took their bows and returned fire on the orcs shooting at them while Doub and Paul charged in. Aliaga Darkeyes followed behind and managed to put half of the orcs to sleep while Burdock took the rear. Paul and Doub quickly destroyed most of the orcs with help from everyone.

Afterwards Burdock found the orc camp and Verine tried to throw Doub into it. In response Doub tried to attack Verine with Paul standing to protect her. With help from a hold person spell Doub managed to take Paul down. The party quickly healed him and decided to camp for the night. While camping the party heard the orcs walk by their camp, but Dumble was quick enough to cast an illusion of just normal forestry to protect them.

The rest of the night was fine however and the party continue to head down the trail. Eventually they made it to a fork in the road where Verine told them the 3 options were to continue straight through the Lost Woods, go west into Lylia and go through the town of Moonwell, or to continue through Osten and to go through Khal. The party decided to treck through Lylia on their way since it was safe, and faster than continuing through Osten.

What adventures does the party face on the way to Moonwell?
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