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I feel as if it were my fault.... I killed him ultimately.... I tried to heal him but it didn't wirk and he died.... we brought him with us for the rest of our journey and found someone who helped us try to bring him back. It didn't work though.... but now as an agrement to her trying to help us, we have to locate an amulet.
There are a total of 3 but they were stolen. They allow direct communication to the gods and goddesses for granting spells. The higher level spells have been more and more difficult to cast because the gods are busy preparing for war against the vampire lord. One is in the vampire lords castle, another is of to the north, and the last is in shallowwood, which that one is the one we think will be easiest.
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I just don't know...
I've been with this group for a few weeks, getting to know them, but none of them really getting to know me. I find myself unsuited for the adventuring and yearn to join my brethren back on the fields of war, but I'm having my doubts as both a leader and as a soldier.

Ever since being freed from the prison, my form has felt off. I haven't felt connected to anything and have felt rather distant. I even find myself just sitting down and being oblivious to those around me.

What makes me think these things is the choice I've to make. After returning the banner, I've learned of it's true purpose: to help the soldiers in the war. I learned that there were Storm Giants there, and Elves - two things that very much need my attention. While this group does have an elf and a child half-breed, I don't find them in any immediate danger, whereas these Storm Giants could very well be the ones that slaughtered my people.

But, on the other hand, what if again I'm too weak? As I've stated, my form has been off and I don't feel connected with this rubbish blade. If only what I had wasn't stolen and broken, I bet my form would be spot on. I doubt my ability to lead and I doubt my ability to fight... do I wish to truly go to my death? 'Tis a foolish thing, yes, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't go and it turns out Grom'Nik-al was there with his brutes as he slaughters more of my people and more innocents.

I've talked to a few members and they're worried about my well-being. Galgareth knows little of my past, but he knows where I came from and knows of my warrior-spirit. I shall spend more time to reflect upon this and ask more members of this group what their wishes would be.
While I do wish to leave, I don't wish to leave without their consent. I may be stubborn, but I'm no idiot.
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A Fallen Hero
Journal Entry #1

     I could say that these previous weeks have been about a fallen hero; a hero who was a warrior. Praised and buried, it was made very evident that he was very important and worthy of having the title “hero.” But another hero has fallen.

     The very large, mysterious ally who we referred to as “the big one,” has fallen in combat. As we were coming out of the tomb with the fallen Hero’s banner, we were confronted by trolls. We moved towards these enemies rather hastily.

     As the last of the trolls were engulfed in flames, I took a look around. There I saw a fellow comrade, lying on a bridge not too far. As I approached the body, I made it out to be “the big one,” my hunting partner. I sat there and watched as the child attempted to bring him back to consciousness. With a sudden jolt, his body lurched forward. It seemed odd to me, but I couldn’t be sure if that was supposed to happen. I looked again, and his body now lay there motionless. I knew something was now positively wrong.

     â€œWh...what’s w-wrong? Shouldn’t he be c-conscious by n-now?” I say this to the child, but she just looked at me with a sad look in her eye and shook her head. Everyone else is now standing around the corpse of what was an ally. We all lower our heads and give a moment of silence. At least, most of us did. The dwarf and the human were praying to some higher power of which I do not understand. Of my recollections, this one will be forever cast into my memories.

     Farewell fallen hero, for your contributions to our group were numerous. We are forever grateful for our fallen, masked ally. I feel as though our hunting sessions bonded us, in addition to the nights we usually spent watches together.

But alas...farewell

     After leaving the burial “island,” we met up with our old dwarven friend, Ballock. He seemed disappointed that he missed some action with us, but I didn’t think too much of it. I didn’t have much time to, actually. Not shortly after, a hooded figure appeared out of a magical portal in front of us, accompanied by several Orcs and Bug Bears. He claimed that he was the “right-hand man” of the Vampire Lord. I found this hard to believe, for the assistant of a being with such power would surely have been accompanied with more....powerful creatures. Of course, I was disappointed with it not being the Vampire Lord himself. I want my memories back very very much so.

     This figure demanded the Banner of the Fallen Hero. We of course wouldn’t give it to him, but it did provoke the start of battle. It was here that the child showed her prowess. The child set vines and branches up from the ground and trapped the enemies. This made it very easy for myself and the rest of the party to attack. The figure appeared to be a wizard, as it was trying to cast some sort of spell. One of the healers, I believe, cast some sort of silence circle to stop the wizard from summoning. What surprised me greatly was the enraged dwarf, Ballock. Something must have made him very angry, because he charged right into the vines, and then threw one of his battle axes at one of the orcs!

     In the end, only one orc escaped into the portal. Every other enemy, including the wizard, appeared to be all dead. Quite a victory for us, but it is only a sign as to many more encounters like this in the near future, I believe.
Session: Vampire Lord Session #7 - Sunday, Jul 07 2013 from 7:30 PM to 10:30 PM
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Well, that simply was outrageous.
I've never known so much grief in such a short amount of time. I've only been in this little rabble of people for about a week, and the amount of sadness I've witnessed is just something I won't ever forget, and never plan to.

I don't think father would've been very proud had he seen the horrible display of knowledge and tactile input I had used today. I couldn't solve a basic puzzle, and now I let one of my comrades fall; and he was a mighty warrior. He was very tall, very quiet... much like that of a silent guardian. It pains me very much because I knew nothing of him, yet treated him like that of filth because of how he stunk of orcish blood, one of the forces of the Vampire Lord. I had sworn Uliyr that I wouldn't let anyone in my company fall, not while there was something I could do, but that situation... I don't know what happened.

I had shown my weakness as a leader and a capable fighter by showing prejudice towards a fellow warrior, and I already regret it. But, the torment didn't stop there. After leaving the tomb and carrying our warrior-friend's corpse, we were stopped after a day's rest by the Right Hand of the Vampire Lord; a powerful magician. He was accompanied by a smaller task force of Orcs and Bugbears, which was an odd choice. Maybe he didn't consider us threatening, but that was his first mistake.

His second mistake was demanding the banner that we risked our lives to retrieve, and it irritated me. I forsook my oath to not show my shame and shackles, but it was too much. I didn't even voice my opinion on the subject, and I drew my blades and had revealed my face to the world again, and I think I may stop trying to hide myself, maybe it's for the best. This right hand man, Korvos? I forget his name, which is doubly odd considering how easily him and his forces were decimated.

Perhaps looking back on everything, I wish I had the clarity to revisit those days in the prison... maybe He would've taught me more about life and the suffering of war. Maybe I would've been more prepared for all this senseless bloodshed and war.
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A terrible day for our group.
What should have been a day of glory and pride for our party, turned out instead to be a day of sadness. Finding that banner, knowing what it will mean to our army, was wonderful. We were on our way out, when we met creatures I had never seen before. I learned they were called trolls, and they had a weird ability to regenerate themselves when thought to be dead. Burning the bodies kept this from happening. We have fought bug bears and the like more times than I can count. We never had many issues with fighting, hardly a scratch most times. Who would have thought these ugly green creatures would create such a hole in our party?

Although we lost Rhea a while ago, I did not feel the overwhelming grief that I feel at the loss of the 'tall one'. I never knew his name. I never knew what his laugh sounded like, what his history was, if he had family, nothing. I felt him smile once, over something silly that Rhea did. I was sure of it. He seemed so guarded and would never let any of us 'in' to see the real him. Now we may never know what the real 'tall one' was like.

This is why I am so adamant about finding a healer with more experience than myself; I want to raise him, to give him another chance at life. I am not sure what his wishes on this matter would have been, but I could never live with myself if I didn't try. The others are in agreement with me, but I doubt they feel as strongly as I.

We are all becoming a family. We have been through a lot together, and I have grown so fond of everyone. I pray to Kalari that we will find a healer in time, that I might just have a chance to say goodbye to him if he chooses to decline. My fondest wish would be to have him fight by our sides again, and to let him know just how much we valued him.
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